Tag Archives: move on

More on Buzz Words Versus Meaningful Words

Therapy Gems ©

More on Buzz Words Versus Meaningful Words

Buzzwords II: Adding to Our Lexicon of Buzzwords, Psychobabble, and Vague Jargon

This article comments on more of the troubling buzzwords I have collected since my original article in 2012 (revised in 2017).

First, I want to acknowledge my staff. They quickly respond when I point out a buzzword during a case conference and universally they have cut most of these words out of our meetings.  As a result, case presentations have more clarity and specificity. That leads to a higher quality of suggestions from the team.

The most frequent buzzwords seem to be “attention,” “acting out,” and the word “anger” used as a personal characteristic, as in “he has so much anger inside.” A brief, immediate explanation of the illogic of these terms has helped staff stop using them.

More Buzzwords

I have not come across many buzzwords that were not in my original paper on the subject. I do see some terms that I predict will become buzzwords or which are on the bw1.jpgcusp of buzz-word-dom.  Here are some additional buzzwords or future buzzwords in mental health.

Chemical imbalance  — This term is the invention of drug marketers.  It never had a scientific meaning!  Imbalance between what chemicals?  What kind of imbalance?   Every benefit of a psychoactive medication is due to rectifying an imbalance?

It appears problems relate several factors, not to a question of imbalance – i.e., an excess of a chemical or a depletion of the chemical or too few receptor sites. If you have an excess of dopamine in some areas, which we believe has something to do with some symptoms, then you have an excess.  Nothing is in or out of balance. If you have too few receptor sites for dopamine or serotonin, then you have too few receptor sites.  If mono-amine oxidase breaks down mono-amines (nor-epinephrine, dopamine, serotonin), then that is the underlying process.  There is no imbalance between dopamine and serotonin or between any other two neurotransmitters.  There is no definable balance point.

The term was developed for the public as an obfuscating, easily acceptable, professional-sounding, generic explanation for why psychotropic medications may be valuable. Furthermore, research has not conclusively explained why many bw2medications work or the degree to which some of them are actually effective.  Nor has it validated some favorite hypotheses in the explanation of how chemicals work to reduce symptoms.

Unfortunately, this term has come to be reified. Consumers on psychiatric medications often think they have an imbalance.  Using the metaphor of a chemical imbalance suggests a permanent feature of an individual.  Sometimes the brain is in balance and sometimes not.  In most cases, this is unlikely to be accurate an accurate reflection of the neuro-chemical status.   The term also implies medications must be taken for a long time, which also may be doubtful, even for severe symptoms.  The public has come to believe in medication for depression despite the fact that recent research shows about 80% of depressions are not helped by medications.  Furthermore, research shows that psychotherapy alone is effect in a majority of cases, even with severe depressed mood.

Better would be to describe how some symptoms are reduced by certain medications, either without inferring process which we presently do not fully understand or with specifying the processes which we do understand. For example, an SSRI interferes with re-uptake of serotonin into neuron one so that neuron two fires, thereby increasing the intensity of signals in that mood-regulation pathway.  If it is a pleasure, satisfaction, or affect regulating system, the person may feel calmer, more pleasant, or less unpleasant.   Give the client the level of explanation that client wants, needs, or deserves.  But give an honest account.

Co-dependent, co-dependence – When Melanie Beattie and others suggested this term, the meaning was narrow. Co-dependence refers to one type of relationship with someone who is dependent upon alcohol or drugs.  To continue, despite the fact that he or she is not taking drugs, the co-dependent person also has a relationship to those chemicals, mediated by the behavior of the person who takes them.  The co-dependent’s mood, thoughts, and actions are heavily structured around the patterns and behaviors of the person who is using the drugs.  For instance, if one’s spouse uses cocaine, one may be resigned or furious, on the verge of leaving, considering giving the partner another chance or no more chances, sleepless when the partner is out on a binge, mistrustful, or endlessly checking up on the spouse. In other words, much of one’s mental process and behavior is taken up by the partner’s use.  That is co-dependence.  The term was meant to describe the state and behavior of a person who is in a relationship with another and that person’s drugs, a term more comprehensive than the earlier term “enabling.”  In many ways, “enabling” can be a more specific term; it can be used to refer to one particular class of specific behaviors.  “Co-dependent” can be so broad as to be confusing.

However, the term can be quite useful. But I seldom hear it being used correctly.  I have heard a number of people say “co-dependent” when they merely mean “dependent” behavior.  It reminds me of the linguistic conundrum of “regardless” becoming “irregardless.”  I have heard it used to mean having a relationship with someone who uses, but by no means the complex relationship that the term originally described.  So, I suggest the term only be used in its narrow sense or not at all.  Or just describe the behavior.

Denial – I am listing denial with the buzzwords merely because the term is thrown around too easily and is now so popular that its original meaning is diluted.   ‘Denial’ bw21.jpgis often used to describe behavior such as rationalizing, minimizing, self-deception, failure to display insight, or refusing to be accountable for the impact of one’s actions.  Denial may be used when the client continues in a self-destructive behavior despite negative consequences from the behavior by downplaying or refusing to accept that the behavior causes problems.  Denial may get used as an accusation or criticism suggesting merely that the person using the word disagrees with the person in so-called denial.  In other words, the term is thrown around too loosely.  That is the very core of the genesis of buzzwords that grow out of professional jargon that originally had been useful.

To use ‘denial’ correctly means going back to its roots when the term was used to describe an immature level defense mechanism in which one, in effect, distorts the perception or interpretation of reality so as to block awareness of the uncomfortable facts, memories, or impulses.  Because the memory or feeling produces threat, anxiety, shame, or guilt, one does not want to acknowledge something is true.  The process is unconscious.  For instance, a person can see his father is drinking a lot, but he has powerful intrapsychic reasons to deny father is actually “an alcoholic.”  It would feel threatening to one’s security to acknowledge it.  A troubled child may be called merely rambunctious, which is a denial-by-minimizing of his aggressiveness, hyperactivity, and mischievousness.

The term also has multiple meanings even in a professional setting. One can “deny” that which is factual because of a) reality distortion, b) not wanting to talk about the subject due to anxiety, c) not wanting to admit the truth and accept the implications due to the threat involved in doing so, d) acting as if it’s not a problem or minimizing (usually because the implications of admitting the problem feel too threatening), e) evading accountability.  In addition, f) one can accept facts, but deny having feelings about the situation.  g) One can accept the behavior, but deny the behavior has negative consequences.  For instance, “Sure I did hit him, but it’s not so bad.  He deserved it and I didn’t leave any marks.”   h) One can accept the behavior, but deny responsibility.  “It was his fault!”  i) One can try to explain or rationalize it away.  “Johnny does it too, and I do it less than Johnny, so I don’t have a problem.”  One can say, “I didn’t get it done, but the real reason I have this problem is Jill’s fault.”  Each of these processes has a common factor, namely, the motivation is to avoid or escape from threat, anxiety, shame, or guilt.

Having so many meanings makes denial too easily thrown around as a catch-all term. The term also gets used as a form of confrontation and criticism.

I suggest the use of the term denial should always be followed by an explanation of the type of denial and a consideration of how the process is the client’s effort to preserve reality as he or she understands it.  Words meant consciously to evade responsibility or justify one’s behavior are not denials and should be label more appropriately as rationalizations or justifications to avoid guilt, shame, punishment, or responsibility.

bw3

Energy — “Energy” has numerous meanings – enough so to make the use of the term in psychotherapy often strikingly imprecise.  Let’s look at a few meanings both valid and questionable.  I am not trying to be comprehensive, but rather to show the degree to which the word is a metaphor and how psychotherapists have started to use the term as a metaphor FOR a metaphor, a buzzword.

Freud used the term “psychic energy” to explain the flow of behavior from a presumed source – instinct or drive or wish – through the shaping of drive fulfillment by ego functions. In his approach, which aligned with mainstream concepts in bw4physics, behavior is motivated by internal sources, that is, it is driven by energies arising from drives.  Freud was not alone in this concept of behavior.  Indeed, many motivational theories of behavior in mainstream psychology in the early and middle 20th century began with concepts of drive or instinct.  Since the body consumes energy (i.e., calories), it makes sense to consider, analogously, that energy operates in personality.  However, such transfers of ideas from the operation of one system to another often lead to the realization that there is no one-to-one correspondence between systems. The mental system uses bodily energies (metabolism), but behavior seems to require far different explanations.  For example, Watson and Skinner later showed behavior can be, in a sense, motivated by the perception (an internal function) of reinforcements.  So the concept of psychic energy, which was inferential, metaphoric, and unmeasurable in the first place, fell out of favor.

More recently, a number of psychotherapies accept categorization under “Energy Psychology.” These approaches accept the Chinese theory behind acupuncture, yoga, qi gong, etc., namely, that the body includes energy fields which may be blocked or functioning inadequately.  Therefore, methods, such as inserting needles along “meridians” or exercises which affect “chakras,” lead to healing, perhaps by unblocking channels and releasing energy.  Thought Field Therapy and Emotional Freedom Technique, popularly known as “tapping,” are energy psychologies.  These approaches, hose mechanism of action is uncertain,  overlap well-proven methods, such as “exposure” and “mindfulness.”   To call them “energy psychology” is to use a metaphor.   No energy can be found or proven.

In the vernacular, “energy” has a variety of figurative meanings besides the physical meaning of power (mechanical), heat (thermal), or quanta (nuclear).

  • Energy refers to power, either potential power or kinetic power. So an act can express this power or vigor, either physically or, often, metaphorically, such as “He plays the game with high energy.” “His delivery of the speech was done with high energy.”
  • A more metaphoric use of the word is contained in the idea of working off energy, where energy means something akin to tension.
  • “Emotional energy” can mean a trait, something akin to get-up-and-go, outgoing personality, or personal activation. The level of energy can refer to a trait in the sense of referring to someone whose arousal and speed of activity is characteristically high or low in presumed energy.
  • “Emotional energy” could also mean mood, such as “After the bad news, the room was drained of energy.” The meaning is one of inhibition, heavy-heartedness.
  • “High energy” or “low energy” refers to arousal, wakefulness, or a related quality of mood. This meaning can refer to a state, as it is most commonly. “I don’t have the energy for that climb” means a state of lacking the activation for the task.
  • Energy can be used to represent a passion or focus as in “He devoted his energy to writing.” Referring in a word to concepts of commitment, expenditure of time, and execution of tasks this use has little to do with the notion of physical energy per se.bw5

Anyone using any of the above meanings probably can be understood clearly by most of us. We can tell from the context whether you mean vigor, power, high level of activity, forcefulness, nervousness, tension, mood level, extroversion, wakefulness, or focus.

But therapists often use “energy” in more ambiguous ways that we should avoid. For example, I have heard this sentence, “I sense your energy.” Not believing in auras, I find this kind of statement so vague as to be muddling.

In another example, I have heard this sentence, “You are full of negative energy. Your negative energy brings me down.” The reference is not energy at all. It could mean dead-end thinking, criticism, finding the problems in any advice, rumination, or other kind of negativity, all of which are subsumed under “negativism.”  If that is what the therapist means, then be precise and give the process an accurate name.

In another example, we often hear, “I like your energy.” I don’t think that is meant to refer to any version of force or power. It is meant to refer to positive personality, enjoyable personality, or getting things done, or any number of positive qualities. That range of meaning alone makes the idea impossibly ambiguous.

In these three above examples, the word “energy” is used to mean something entirely other than energy!

Therapist should be more precise. If referring to energy in the Freudian sense, refer to “psychic energy.” If referring to Energy Psychology, in which the theory is unproven and the results could be attributed to well-known psychological process without reference to “energy” at all, I suggest referring to an “exercise” that helps the way acupuncture does. If using energy to mean one of the usual vernacular meanings, one of the synonyms that convey a meaning closer to what you intend probably will be more appropriate.  But the very metaphoric, vague uses should be avoided. bw6

Evidence-based — How could such an important term be a buzzword?  Simple.  It is very easy to claim one’s treatment to be evidence-based, but it is very hard to demonstrate.  Marketers and brochure-writers put the term into healthcare ads and brochures.  Is that a guarantee?  No.  The term is now used as a seal of approval.  But it is an over-simplification.

In reality, few mental health patients can simply receive an proven protocol – they are too complex.  Also, many therapeutic efforts are given a name but lack faithfulness to the evidence based therapy.  I frequently see a therapist name the therapy they are doing, giving it the name of a proven technique, but providing a method which is not very faithful to the method.

Let’s look briefly at this term. The term is supposed to refer to therapies for which controlled clinical trials have shown the therapy is better than placebo, wait list, another treatment, or no treatment at all.  The term can be used to refer to meta-analyses showing the treatment has a reasonably strong effect size, roughly an average standard deviation between the treatment group and the control group of .4 or above.

Furthermore, a number of sets of guidelines have been published which incorporate such treatments, among them the Expert Consensus Guideline Series, guidelines by the American Association for Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, and guidelines from the American Psychiatric Association.  Most payers have published guidelines as well.

But then reality always intrudes.   Therapists vary in their awareness of the evidence. Therapists vary in their knowledge and training in such therapies.  They vary in their adherence to these models.   Clients in practice are usually more complex than subjects in trials.

Further, techniques do not account for the major share of the variance in outcomes. Relationship factors including the therapeutic alliance, empathy, and non-specific factors, such as hope, account for more of the variance.

Clients may not accept or want a recommended treatment. Often, other treatment functions must come first, such as stabilization, building resources, developing trust, or managing crises.  So we may say we do evidence-based care, but in reality often we are not providing that care.   The professional’s recommendation may not be evidentiary practice but may nonetheless reflect very good clinical judgment.

Another problem is that therapy can be narrow or broad, focused on one symptom or focused on a broad range of client functions. Some therapies are broad and generic, such as solution focused or psychoanalytic. Some are narrowly focused, such as systematic desensitization, EMDR, exposure, and specific protocols within the CBT world. There is no specific proven technique for many conditions. Harm Reduction, support, and directive counseling are often the main techniques one can offer where no treatment is proven to help.

Often the proven treatment is the wrong treatment for a particular client at a particular time. For example, a patient I’ll call Vicki came to treatment with a major depressive disorder.  But rather than cognitive behavior therapy or interpersonal therapy, two proven methods, the therapist judged that the best choices to initiate were medication and crisis psychotherapy.  Cognitive therapy was added after 6 crisis sessions.  The relief produced by the initial plan led to successful completion of the case in 10 weeks without much use of the “proven” methods.

Often, clinical trials are sometimes not the same as real world situations and would eliminate patients such as Vicki. They compare “pure” diagnostic entities, which are not the same as the usual client seen in the clinic. Clinical trials eliminate patients with complex lives and multiple problems.  When we work with complex cases, complex decisions have to be made which may belie the so-called evidence.

Many therapists depend upon clinical experience and clinical wisdom, often rightly.  Treatment is so complex and difficult and problems are so complex that evidence-based treatments often have to wait until other care is provided in the real world.   Published care guidelines developed by insurance companies may take economic factors too much into consideration, possibly weighing benefit plan structures against optimal treatments.

bw7

How good is the evidence?  One critique showed that depression treatment by CBT is more lasting and in the long run more cost effective than medication.  Another showed the so-called evidenced-based use of anti-depressants was no evidence at all – 80% of the cases did not need the medication.

Our comprehension of the evidence changes over time.  From the 1950s declaration that therapy is no better than spontaneous recovery to the 1970s declaration that all therapists are about equally useful to now, the evidence changes and new therapies are constantly in development.  We can assert that there are more proven approaches now.  There are also more types of evidentiary approaches for specific problems.

Based upon cost-benefit considerations, EBT has a political and ideological agenda itself. Consider the case of PSA and mammograms – cost-benefit says to do one thing, clinical judgment another, patient safety another. The final criteria are somewhat ideological.  We find the same biases in trauma treatment.  Prolonged exposure therapy appears to have more of a following in academic psychology while EMDR, which produces equivalent results more quickly, may be downplayed by academics, but may be preferred by non-academic clinicians.

In conclusion, I prefer to use the term Evidence-Informed. This term acknowledges the research and the effective approaches, but with the understanding they must be provided within the larger overall context of the client’s treatment needs and the clinician’s best judgment.

I can’t breathe. You’re smothering me. — Such terms are not actually buzzwords; but they function as buzzwords. The client may mean, among many possibilities, that she feels controlled, her partner demands too much for her, she has no time alone, she uncomfortable in a close attachment, she feels her partner needs to be too close for her own comfort, or she is frightened of a relationship.  “I can’t breathe” can also mean the opposite, namely, “I cane so much it takes my breath away.” Which is it?  What’s the history behind the dynamic? How is it being repeated in her life?  For the client, the term obscures the underlying emotion and memories.  For the therapist, the meaning is too generic to be helpful.  So the term does work like a buzzword – it tells us something we can only partially grasp and we need to ask for much more detail.

Hyper – What comes to mind with “hyper” could be restless, keyed-up, agitated, hyperactive and moving around the room or climbing on the furniture, “bouncing off the walls, anxious, over-stimulated, or hypo-manic. Furthermore, when used to describe a client, the word is more of a pejorative adjective than it is informative.  As with many buzzwords, its effect is one of judgment and distancing.  If we mean hyperactivity, we should say so.  “Child was hyperactive, changing positions on the chair many times over 10 minutes, walking about the room investigating objects in the room, playing with an object briefly before moving to the next one.”  If we mean agitated or anxious, we should use those more specific words.

Manic – For this buzzword, I know I am to a degree splitting hairs. But for professionals, we should speak clearly and use language carefully.  When used to describe a true manic episode, “manic” is, of course, the proper word.  “Manic’ may describe the mood of a manic episode, and doing so with a bipolar patient is entirely appropriate. bw8

I asked a team of clinicians what they might mean by “manic” and the terms they cited include agitated, excitable, high speed, hyper, keyed-up, on edge, restless energy, and tense. When used to describe the mood of a person who does not have a bipolar disorder, the description of that mood little resembles true mania per se.  Using “manic” merely to describe mood does no justice to the experience of the bipolar patient.  It does not describe the extreme, impairing severity of that mood, the racing thoughts, sleep disturbance, compromised judgment, inappropriate choices, extremes of irritability, and altered sense of self which characterize mania.  In that case, calling a mood manic is a disservice to those who have bipolar disorder.

Move on, Moving on — Similar to “let go,” “move on” is meant to admonish someone to stop focusing on or talking about some troubling event or situation. “I need to move on” is an acknowledgment of a need to resolve a conflict or situation.  People refer to ‘moved on’ in the past tense or ‘moving on’ as if they had accomplished a major step in life.  Somehow, when someone claims to have moved on, I become skeptical.  Have they emotionally resolved the loss or trouble? Or only worked on ignoring or repressing recall of it?  To resolve a painful experience is to reach a psychological point at which the event feels historical rather than current and has the same emotional valance as almost any historically significant event, but no more than that.

The command to “move on” implies no such accomplishment.   How is one to bw9accomplish it?  Where does one start?  What if one cannot move on; is that a failure?  The term should not be used.  The processes of grief work for a loss or of resolution of an emotional conflict or emotionally troubling experience are so rich with possibilities that it is imperative that we specify the processes.  We should guide the client through a process. We should not be telling anyone to “move on.”

People Pleaser — This term has always been a buzzword.   It could be used to describe a passive or compliant person who is taken advantage of. It could be used to describe a peace-maker or a conflict-avoidant person who reduces negative emotional situations by offering solutions, usually ones in which she volunteers to take on a responsibilitybw10 others should be taking on.  It could mean someone has difficulty saying “No” and takes on too many tasks.  It could mean a person who goes along with others rather than asserting a contrary position.  This person has conflicts over self-assertion, over telling others she can’t or doesn’t want to do something.  She may not ask for what she wants or needs.  This person may present a false self to the world as someone unfailingly agreeable.  She may compromise bw11her position or wants so as to avoid conflict.  Her self-worth may depend upon the approval of others.  She may feel responsible for how others feel and may fear others being angry or disappointed in her.  She may not trust her own perceptions and feelings, so she hides or discounts them. She may enable misbehavior in others and may be miserable about the result.  She may need to be perceived as helpful, and never as lazy.  The term could also mean a kindly person who truly enjoys doing for others.

So which is it? As a term used in therapy, it has so many possible meanings that it lacks meaning.   Is this person supposed to become more assertive?  Or is she to work through her fear of alienating loved ones?  Or her fear of loss?  Or her early training that assertiveness will be punished?  She can’t quite work out how she is supposed to be different once she is called a “people pleaser.”   But she can be helped to work through the dynamic behind her behavior.

Let’s also avoid synonyms, such as pushover or overly nice or patsy. If a person fits any of the dynamics I’ve described, explain the pattern and drop the label.

Resistance – Resistance was first defined by Freud. His German word, “Den Widerstand,” translates as push-back, resistance, opposition.  The term defines a bw12.jpgprocess in which the client is anxious due to the awareness of uncomfortable or unacceptable impulses or painful memories, and that anxiety motivates defenses which aim to repress, block, or constrict awareness or expression of those impulses or memories in therapy.  Then the person ‘resists’ expressing the feelings or memories in therapy.  He or she may suddenly block, may edit comments, may suppress them, may change the subject, or may miss sessions.  The pressure to resist can be primary – avoidance of anxiety – or secondary – meaning the client has reinforcements (secondary gains) for maintain symptoms.  The fundamental techniques of psychoanalysis are analysis of transference and analysis of resistance.

More recently, the topic of resistance has been a focus in the field of Motivational Interviewing (MI). In MI, resistance is defined as statements of “sustain talk,” comments supporting dysfunction and arguing against change.  Studies show that the frequency of sustain talk is directly in proportion to how much the therapist presses the client to change or confronts the client with statements about the client’s behavior.

bw13

“Resistance” can become a buzzword when it is used loosely or confrontively. “You are resisting.”  If directly instructing people to change got them to change, therapists would be unnecessary.  Much of the work of therapy is helping people change using techniques therapists spend years studying.  Telling the person to change is quite different from helping the person understand his or her patterns of behavior and understanding the problems with continuing in current patterns.  We know how challenging it can be to help people change over-learned, long-practiced patterns.

The most common loose use of “resistance” is to rationalize why the client has not bw14changed or why the client has missed sessions. In this case, the word is used as a blaming word.  It obscures what may be problems in the therapeutic relationship, the therapeutic alliance, the client’s life challenges, the level of distress caused by symptoms, or more classic problems of resistance.  As with most of the other professional terms in our buzz-word papers, we just want the terms used accurately and we want therapists to push themselves to find and understand the processes at work in the client and in the therapy.

Self-medicate – This term is not yet a buzzword. Soon!  It is used glibly to suggest that some dysfunctional, probably self-harmful behavior is motivated by the need to reduce or eliminate some emotion or discomfort.  It is not meant to suggest a healthy medication used in the intended way for the intended purpose.  Rather, it suggests the

bw15

Many people have come to believe we have a chemical solution for every problem or discomfort.

use of a medication in an inappropriate way or in a dosage exceeding the recommended dosage and for the purpose of altering negative mood. It also may mean a behavior, such as self-cutting or gambling, which has the effect of reducing some negative emotions.  However, the term obscures the client’s significant difficulties managing the underlying emotions, the life history behind those emotions, and the history behind the difficulty coping with those feelings.

 

Furthermore, this term is used glibly; but often it may be incorrect. For example, the client may use the medication because the use has reached the point of dependency.  So the use is not to self-medicate some underlying core psychological conflict, but rather to avoid withdrawal symptoms.  Better would be to specify what underlying difficulty the client appears to be avoiding and the source of those difficulties.  For example, “Due to PTSD, when the intrusive images flood his mind, he feels frightened and helpless. He discovered alprazolam calms his anxiety so he can function.” This explanation leads to interventions more effective than the term “self-medicate” conveys.  “Self-medicate” leads mainly to confrontation and promoting abstinence.  When we use a more specific explanation, we can see other possibilities, such as, affect management, trauma exposure therapies, or use of more appropriate medication.

Stuff It  –  This term is used to mean suppressing or trying to block the expression of negative emotions, such as feeling angry, frustrated, disappointed, scared, hurt, etc.  The person may judge the expression of those feelings is unsafe, not tactful for the situation, or likely to be punished or dismissed.  The closest professional term for this behavior is the defense of “suppression,” that is, purposeful restraint of the expression of a thought or feeling.  “Inhibition,” “repression,” “dissociation,” “undoing,” and “emotional constriction” describe less conscious processes for blocking expression of emotion. That at least six psychological processes involve holding back or “stuffing” emotions demonstrates that the term “stuff it” or “stuffed my feelings” is vague, unworthy of expressing the richness behind these processes.  The person may be afraid to express feelings or may be conflict-avoidant.  To help someone, we cannot merely say “You are stuffing your feelings.”  Nor should we accept the client saying, “I stuffed it so we wouldn’t fight over it.”  Rather, we need to know the emotions, their source, and what experiences shaped the defense of suppression, repression, undoing, or whichever process may be present.  We also need to be aware that suppression can be a healthy defense akin to tact.  In that event, the pejorative term, “stuff it,” is just inappropriate.

Supportive – Supportive, as a buzzword, is a global term referring to no one set of well-defined of behaviors. Rather, one uses the feeling of “support” to mean the experience that the Other’s behavior FEELS accepting, validating, affirming, helping, or encouraging.  When a person claims, “You are not supportive,” often the Other is not clear what behavior would produce such feelings or why his or her behaviors are not perceived as supporting.  Often, the Other does not grasp the need to be supportive in a particular interaction and may perceive a different response is called for, perhaps a question or a practical suggestion.   Let’s say one spouse says “You’re not supportive” and the other says “What do you mean?” or “I did [this and that] which I think was supportive.”    The first is actually describing her experience, the feel of the spouse’s behavior.  The Spouse, however, is describing his behavior.  When I have encountered these interactions in couples counseling, it’s clear they are not discussing the same terrain.

To continue, a person may say, “You’re not supportive.” That is a judgment.  A therapist might say, “You didn’t feel supported.”  But the therapist should not empathize with a judgment as it condones that way of perceiving.  But does that mean the client feels disappointed, alone, hurt, abandoned, invalidated, helpless, rejected, OR infuriated?  In therapy, each possible emotion that is covered by the term “not supportive” leads FROM a different underlying dynamic and leads TO a somewhat different intervention.  When the therapist accepts the term or the complaint of “not supportive” in a session without further clarification, he or she condones a surface view without deeper examination: it implicitly sides with the complainant.  Thus, the interaction locates the client’s problem as external rather than as an examination of her need, her expression of her needs and wants, her history of relationships, or whatever other dynamic may be present.  Nor does it lead to a closer examination of the therapist’s behavior that may have evoked the complaint.

Note, supportive does have some highly specific meanings which are not buzzwords. It can be used in an effective way, such as “I am supportive of your idea,” where supportive essentially means agreement or encouragement.  Furthermore, it has been used for 100 years to mean Supportive Psychotherapy.  That is an undefined set of interventions used in a crisis situation, with a patient who has weak ego strength, or with a psychotic patient.  The interventions include empathy, using a calming voice, de-escalating situations, approaching the patient slowly, validating the patient’s point of view, patience, building trust, and highlighting the more effective defenses (e.g., intellectualization) and not reinforcing the less effective defenses (e.g., projection, acting out).  It may mean temporarily accepting denial.  It also mans avoiding confrontive or in-depth methods. So when a therapist refers to “supportive” interventions,  that would be an appropriate use of the term.

More Future Buzzwords

These words still have a precise meaning to professionals. But in common usage they are becoming muddled.  Some day they may be so imprecise that we will need to come up with new terms for the same phenomena.

Authentic – Carl Rogers defined ‘authenticity’ as the therapist’s full awareness and acceptance of his or her emotions and as communicating empathy sincerely (rather than formulaically). Optimally, we want the client to achieve this same state of awareness.  By being authentic, therapists can be more empathic and can better discriminate reality from client transferences.

Now the word is on the move! I have heard it used as a positive trait, as in, “I am being an authentic person.”  I’ve heard it refer to a positive state, as in, “I am being authentic with you.”  As a defect, “You don’t know how to be authentic.”  As a failing or accusation, “You are not being authentic.”  Such claims and criticisms belie the fact that, in ordinary conversation, authenticity is often far from useful.  For many situations in daily life, tact is more crucial than is total emotional honesty.  Total honesty can be used as a form of aggression.  If the opposite of authentic is tactful, acting, or playing a role while hiding one’s self, then often social effectiveness often calls for these niceties of behavior.

Finally, authenticity implies we know our feelings or thoughts in a situation; but we often have complex or even contradictory feelings and reactions. We do not want to dissemble or to be inauthentic, so what one says should be sincere and valid.  Outside of the behavior of therapists working with clients, we would be okay if we left it to mean an optimal or goal state rather than requirement.  Because the word is not all that widely used, it may not make it to buzzword status.

Bipolar, Mood Swings – Popularity may undermine the use of these terms. In commonbw16 parlance, people are using bipolar to describe mood swings which are unexpectedly large and not immediately comprehensible.  Others use bipolar as if it were a trait, as in “My bipolar,” not because the person has Bipolar Disorder, but merely as a description of mood swings or even as an explanation or excuse for mood-driven actions.  “I’m sorry.  It was my bipolar tendency that caused me to lose my temper.”

Mood swings, as thought of by professionals, mean highly significant shifts in mood. So on a -5 (despair) to +5 (joy) scale or a -5 (raging) to +5 scale (calm, accepting), professionals use mood swings more or less to mean -4 to +4 or the reverse.  But in common usage, I hear mood swings used to describe any undesirable or rapid shift, as, for instance, when a person who is irritable and shifts from -2 to 0 or +1 – not a clinically significant shift.

Professionals may be contributing to this trend. The diagnosis of Bipolar Disorder may be, shall I say, sometimes in the category of a kind of fad, a term too easily applied, too many false positives.  I have three male clients, each of whom has been diagnosed as having bipolar disorder.  Since I have had the opportunity to spend many hours working with these men, I can say with some assurance that none have Bipolar bw17Disorder and so mood stabilizing medications used for true Bipolar have not helped them.  Two of these men have symptoms of Major Depressive Disorder, Recurring, Chronic, without intra-episode remission.

One of them was diagnosed as Bipolar at a time when he was drinking too heavily, combined with taking (prescribed) benzodiazepines, and while also being subject to seizures. Another was diagnosed as Bipolar on the strength of a couple of questions during an outpatient psychiatry visit.  His MDD was determined to be Bipolar II.  He told me he was asked, “Have you even had a time when your mood was overly positive, so much so you had high energy and didn’t need to sleep as much?”  He answered in the affirmative, not because this positive mood was frequent or prolonged, but only because he had fleeting moments of those feelings.  He was given Depakote, but he reported no change in mood.

The third man was diagnosed as Bipolar, but when I took a careful history and asked, as I always do, about gambling problems, he reported a period of severe pathological gambling. That was when he received the Bipolar diagnosis.  Questions about typical behavior in heavy gamblers showed all the so-called “bipolar” behaviors were related to gambling, including not needing sleep, mood swings, irritability, and periods of euphoria.  When I saw him, his gambling problem was in remission and I found nothing more serious than a problem of Adjustment Disorder with Depressed Mood due to events related to a divorce.

These stories are three of a number of times my trainees or I questioned the client’s diagnosis of Bipolar Disorder, especially when the diagnosis was given to youth 10-18 during a crisis situation in an inpatient setting. [Just to be fair, the criteria for Bipolar were met in the majority of cases in which the diagnosis was given. Further, there were some false negatives, meaning cases not given the Bipolar diagnosis who probably should have been.]  My point here is that inaccurate usage by professionals contributes to the imprecise use of the term by the public, and some day “Bipolar” may become a buzz word as a result.

OCD, Obsessive Compulsive – I have heard “OCD” used as an adjective without the bw18speaker intending to refer to ICD-10 or DSM-5 definitions of OCD, as in “That was awfully OCD of you,” meaning, highly organized or persnickety. Many people have very minor impulses towards checking behavior, which, when severe, is a sign of OCD.  Many people have very minor needs to create symmetry or to be overly concerned about odd and even numbers, or some other fairly trivial compulsion.  I say minor in that, unlike a person with OCD, the behavior does not dominate the person.  The person can check just once that she locked the car and then will be satisfied.  In contrast, the person with OCD may have a ritual number of times to check and spends considerable time checking and re-checking when he or she performed the behavior.  True OCD is a problem which can dominate a life.  As with Bipolar, OCD can be used to explain or excuse behavior.  It can be used as a complaint or criticism.  We professionals should use the term with care to use it accurately.

Professionals Using Labels for Methods

In the past couple of years, I have asked people interviewing for jobs at the post-Masters level (mostly recent grads) to describe the treatment approaches they favor. The most common answers are Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Solution-Focused Brief Therapy (SFBT), and Motivational Interviewing (MI).  You know by now that I want to know specifics.  “What specific techniques in that approach have you been using most?”  For CBT, not one person in a long sequence of applicants said

Much more than pointing out inaccurate, dysfunctional thoughts. Few labeled them “automatic thoughts” or “core beliefs.”  None identified a single behavioral method within CBT.  None used measurement tools or thought experiments.

If the person mentioned SFBT, he or she didn’t tend to grasp the underlying bw19philosophy that the client has the solutions and we can elicit and amplify them. None understood the idea of exceptions or the importance of subtlety in the use of language.  What many described seemed more problem-focused or more directive in the search for solutions to problems.  A few could reference the “miracle question,” but not its significance in a process.

As for MI, most gave answers inconsistent with the philosophy of empathic guiding. Their concept of MI was rather directive and involved making sure to point to consequences of the behavior.

This is not to indict schools or internships. Well, not severely, anyway.  But rather I am making the same point as with buzzwords.  Our role is to be precise and clear.  If one uses a term, know what it means.  If one knows about a therapy, be able to describe its theory of problems and pathology, its principles of change, and its major interventions.  MI is a form of intervention, not a therapy per se, which posits that much of what is termed “resistance” or “denial” is “sustain talk,” often induced by therapists putting pressure on the individual to change.  If one claims to know this intervention, know what MI research shows to be the factors which reduce or which increase motivation to change.

This difficulty explaining therapies is not limited to new graduates. Many therapists have difficulty explaining the theoretical rationale for interventions or the breadth of concepts in a school of therapy.  My point in presenting these observations is to highlight the tendency to use terms imprecisely until they have lost specificity of meaning.  Therapists should be careful to use words accurately.

The third paper in this series on buzzwords unpacks our tendency to use buzzwords. I suppose that people who came for interviews had some of the motivations I examine in that paper.  They may have been trying to convey a sense of status, of being part of the in-crowd, or of being highly knowledgeable.   They may have been using terminology they picked up in school or at an internship.   Regardless, they conveyed the opposite – lack of understanding and shallowness of thought.  Furthermore, when we use the name of a therapy loosely, we lose the power to explain what we are doing.  If we cannot explain, we cannot select treatments thoughtfully.

In written documents, avoid buzzwords. At the worst, the reader may perceive both the imprecision of meaning and a pejorative tone in the words.  Don’t use buzzwords in notes, reports, or letters.  The purpose of a document is to provide professional clinical assessment and judgment.  The document is meant to communicate to other professionals.  So it must be accurate.

In conclusion, in two papers, I have explicated a number of buzzwords and words that are heading toward becoming buzzwords.

  1. Acting out
  2. Anal
  3. Attention, Attention seeking
  4. Attitude
  5. Authentic
  6. Bipolar
  7. Can’t stand it
  8. Chemical imbalance
  9. Closure
  10. Co-dependence
  11. Deal with it, Can’t deal with it
  12. Denial
  13. Empower
  14. Energy
  15. Evidence-based
  16. Feel
  17. Fight
  18. Handle it, can’t handle it
  19. Hyper
  20. I can’t breathe, you’re smothering me
  21. Issue
  22. Let go, letting go
  23. Listen
  24. Manic
  25. Move on
  26. OCD
  27. Over-reacting
  28. People pleaser
  29. Process, processed’
  30. Resisting, resistance
  31. Respect
  32. Self-medicate
  33. Shut down
  34. Space, need space
  35. Stuff it
  36. Support

We’ll keep our eyes and ears open for precision in language and understanding. We can highlight and reinforce such accuracy in thinking. bw20 We’ll keep our eyes and ears open for imprecise, vague language and work to improve it.

 

************************

© Don D Rosenberg, Version 1.0 2017

Buzzwords Versus Meaningful Words

Therapy Gems ©

Buzzwords Versus Meaningful Words

Buzzwords I: Common Buzzwords, Psychobabble, and Vague Jargon in Therapy

Version 1.1

LEARNING TO BE SPECIFIC AND DETAILED

One of my supervisors once told me, “Never ASSUME you know what the client means. Ask and analyze.”

As I was presenting the details of a case to another of my supervisors, he often would ask me to stop my presentation and to talk about the meaning to me of a client’s comment. He asked me to free associate to the comment.  From those intense, lengthy explorations, I learned that if we teach ourselves to think deeply about each bit of client ‘material,’ we find the riches contained in every detail and anecdote. Every comment represents a depth of understanding of our client and our own reactions, all of which can help us to help the client.

I once attended a staffing led by the famous psychoanalyst, Karl Menninger. He stopped the presenter after each fact or sentence and invited the group of us therapists to bring out all the meanings we could think of for each fact or detail.  Again, that was a lesson in the wealth of meaning in client communications.

Another influence upon me was the writings of the famous analyst, Theodore Reik, who wrote long, involved treatises exploring his thoughts which had been stimulated by a client’s single gesture or comment.

One of my supervisors, the co-founder of Solution Focused Brief Therapy, Insoo Berg, developed detailed future scenarios with her clients. Carl Rogers reflected specific buzzword1emotions, working to be accurate and empathic.

All of these supervisors and masters had a common message for our understanding of the client, namely, to achieve specific, detailed knowledge of the meaning of the client’s words and ideas, and to communicate with the client in specific language.

So we see that everything the client does communicates all of herself or himself. Psychotherapy works best when the client experiences the therapist’s empathy and understanding, which in turn requires a depth of understanding.  We need a specificity of knowledge about the client and clear thinking about what each client uniquely presents.

Therefore, to repeat, never assume you know what the client means; ask, ask, and ask. Delve into the meaning.

ON BUZZWORDS

I mention these experiences precisely because I so often hear therapists not only fail in meeting this standard of specific, deep thinking, but almost going in the opposite direction. That is, I hear therapists use ambiguous, abstract buzzwords as if the words had a specific, conventional, consensual meaning.  These buzzwords have different referents for different clients and families.  So we can’t know exactly what the words mean to the client.  We definitely can’t assume the client understands a buzzword when we use one of them ourselves.

And worse yet, when we as therapists use those words frequently, we can assume our message to the client is that we will not think deeply, and we will not ask the client to think deeply; we will not consistently probe the client’s experiences and connect them to his or her difficulties; we will condone moving to the surface of life experiences; and we will partially support the client’s dysfunctional defenses.

Buzzwords are imprecise words, purposely vague words.  Therapists hear clients use these words, but they often do not find out their meaning to the client.

In contrast, jargon or argot means words with precise meanings which are esoteric, that is, known mainly to professionals in a specific discipline.  Psychology has an argot of hundreds of jargon-words which help us define and describe what we are observing.  Sometimes therapists use jargon with clients without explaining the meaning of the terms.  That is also a problem.

Many buzzwords, such as “stress,” began as jargon, but have lost their specificity of meaning as they have passed into popular usage. Eventually, words such as stress acquire a vague or general popular meaning.  Then therapists may use such words in their buzzword status rather than as professional jargon.

Some of the buzzwords are psychobabble, words which are pseudoscientific and always were, and which have an air of being plausible and useful.  But in the end the words are a way of revealing almost nothing specific.

This paper is a compendium of common buzzwords. First, we’ll discuss clarification as a way to underscore the point that buzzwords may block effective care.

CLARIFICATION

The most used of all therapeutic tools is the technique of “clarification,” meaning asking probing questions with the aim of gaining a more in-depth understanding of the client’s cognitions, emotions, motivations, and actions, and those memories which shape behavior. We ask CLARIFYING questions which are different from what may be used in common conversation. We may ask, “What do you mean by that?” “Tell me more about it.” “What comes to mind about _____?”  “When you think of that, what emotions go with that?”  “When you remember that, what do you think or say about yourself?”  “What emotions do you have now?”  “When you stopped talking, what came to mind?”  “Are you saying ______?”

buzzword2
CLARIFICATION gives depth and color to the client’s material.
The magnified anecdote shows us the details and truth in the story.

In common conversation, we may ask, “Why did you say that?” “What do you mean?”  “Explain that.”  As I think about those questions, they usually aim to promote a discourse or to challenge a point.  In contrast to our motives in common conversation, therapy is not meant to be a back-and-forth discourse, to be persuasive, or defeat the client’s point.  Clarification is meant to direct the client to self-understanding or to gather data about the client’s dysfunctional reaction patterns.

In contrast, buzzwords are not meant to clarify. They are more likely to obscure.  We may intend to use words which are intentionally vague in order to soften a message.  When we de-enervate the message in order to be less objectionable, we are not communicating clearly.

For example, let’s say the client has just said, “Two days ago, I was fired from my job for being late again, so I spent the next day in bed and didn’t have any motivation to move the entire day.” Then the therapist said, “That really stressed you out. You just didn’t know how to handle it.”   The client answered, “It sure did.  Right.”   Where do we go now?

The use of the buzzwords “stressed out” and “handle it” obscured the possibility of significant meaning in the client’s statement. Let’s use CLARIFICATION instead of buzzwords.   Let’s say the client has just said, “Two days ago, I was fired from my job for being late again, so I spent the next day in bed and didn’t have any motivation to move the entire day.”   Then the therapist said, “First, let’s go over what happened with the firing and then what happened yesterday.”  Cl: “When I got to the office to punch in, the HR Manager was right by the clock.  She said I was late for the third time and that holds up the assembly line.  ‘Violation of company policy.’  ‘You’re suspended for two weeks.’ I argued I was only 15 minutes late and there was traffic.  She said, ‘You’re supposed to plan for that like everyone else.’  Under my breath, I called her a name.  So she said, ‘That shows you just don’t get it, do you?  Get your things and I’ll escort you out.  You are fired.’  So I called her something nasty, kind of loudly, and she said, ‘That’s it!  Leave the building, now, and we’ll mail your stuff to you.’”

When the therapist tries to empathize without CLARIFYING the story, he or she not only could be way off base, but could be condoning psychopathology. Plus, a marvelous learning opportunity has been missed.  What riches are hidden in this story!  What memories or attitudes regarding authority figures could have been discovered?  Did the client use provocation as a response to feeling small and embarrassed or guilty or ashamed?  Instead of mending his ways, he became defensive and challenging, behaviors which will not work in too many social situations and which have roots we can understand.  What memories may have shaped his perception of the manager and his choice of defenses?

buzzword3

CLARIFICATION is essential in a variety of therapies. For instance, originally a method in psychoanalysis used to gather insights needed in order to make an INTERPRETATION, CLARIFICATION is used in cognitive therapy in order to extract the client’s automatic thoughts and dysfunctional beliefs from his or her experiences. In Solution Focused Brief Therapy, the therapists may seek to learn about an exception to the problem and then use clarifying questions in order to develop the story in detail.  Clarification is used in counseling generally in order to get a clearer sense of the client’s emotions.  Buzzwords and psychobabble fail to help clarify and, therefore, fail to lead to a rich understanding.

COMMON BUZZWORDS

Some of the most common such buzzwords used in therapy include these:

Act out, acting out – It is used to mean hostile behavior, including hostile words and tantrums. This has little to do with the precise meaning of the term. Acting out is a psychological defense in which the client expresses a conflict in action rather than in words.  Acting out is an unconscious process, not necessarily connected with aggression. It is not a label for the manifest behavior, nor is it limited to aggression.  Therapists should avoid the incorrect usage of this term and should rather describe the behavior of the client specifically.  If the person is talking back or swearing, say the person is confrontational, talking back, defiant, swearing, or what have you.  Calling it all “acting out” obscures the meaning and, besides, it is being used in a pejorative, often dismissive way.  For example, I recently received a call from a TV reporter asking me to comment on what parents can “to help their acting out children.”  This statement could have a variety of meanings.  It turns out he meant what can parents do to help children who often act aggressively as a result of a mental disorder.  By helping him ask a more specific question, I had the specificity needed to answer the question.

In another example, a 14 year-old with an Attachment Disorder kicked his mother when he felt criticized. He could not articulate how criticisms feel like statements that he is unlovable and cannot be kept, that he will be abandoned.  So his kicking rejects the statement, rejects to author of so painful and hurtful a statement, and demonstrates his inner hurt.  It gets back at the person who threatened his existence.  If we mean he “acted out” his feelings in the sense of expressing all those reactions through kicking, that is close to the meaning of the term.  If we use it only to refer to kicking as hostile behavior, that is using the term as a buzzword.  The former shows insight and attunement, the latter does not.

Take, for example, a 10 year-old girl with an Attachment Disorder whose first action was to walk briskly into the consulting room and, after the therapist sat down at the desk, to come up close enough to touch her hip against the therapist’s arm, and to say, “You’re my new therapist forever. What will be doing on that computer?”  This is acting out – she was showing through action her rapid, indiscriminate, superficial connecting with another.  But this was approach behavior, not hostile action.  The example shows further that “acting out” should not be used merely as a term for aggressive behavior.

Anal – It is used to mean overly organized or retentive (holding on to items which may not be useful) or retentive of feelings and thoughts. This usage bears little resemblance to the psychological meaning of psychosexual impulses and behaviors characteristic of the second year of life.  It is almost always meant in a critical way.

Attention – This is almost always used pejoratively for a motive for behavior, namely, to be paid attention to for attention’s sake. Attention-seeking is used to mean the attribution of a negative, almost frivolous or invalid motive for a person’s behavior, that is, to have someone notice.

buzzword4.jpg
This superficial view of behavior obscures the deeper need behind the behavior – love, connection, approval, attachment.

It is shockingly dismissive of the truth of the client’s behavior.  I heard this term from a mother in a session as she dismissed her daughter’s feelings of being cast aside when the mother remarried, “Oh, she just wants attention.”  Not an hour later, I heard the term used by a mother on a TV mystery show as she chose to dismiss her daughter’s allegation of sexual abuse against a family member as “Nothing but wanting attention.” Yet “attention” refers to necessary and normal interaction with important figures in one’s life, interactions which support sense-of-self and which provide essential positive reinforcement.  Saying a child is attention-seeking actually misdirects us from probing into understanding the child’s legitimate needs.  It implies the family should repudiate and reject the behavior rather than understanding the child’s needs and motives.   Therapists are supposed to use empathy and understanding, not dismissiveness, as a tool for change. It can be heart-breaking when a therapist lets this usage go or, worse, uses it herself or himself, such that a child’s bid for her mother’s love or an act expressing a buzzwords5need to be understood or validated is treated as nothing at all, merely, seeking attention.  Don’t we all need to be attended to?  What is the deeper need the client is showing?

Attitude – This term is used to mean disagreeable behavior, talking back, or non-compliance. But which is it?  It has become a vague global reference.  In psychology, an attitude is a disposition toward some object or situation, that is, a belief and an emotion about something.  Attitude tells us how someone thinks and feels about a thing.  That is an entirely neutral term.  The term should not be used to mean only a negative judgment of a person. When someone is described as having a “bad attitude,” the therapist should learn the detailed meaning of that statement.  What did the person do?  What about it is “bad?”  “What behavior would be preferred?”  “What will happen differently when that preferred behavior occurs?”  The use of the term attitude to mean negative behavior should never go unexamined.

Can’t stand it – This is a vague statement of a strong negative reaction to an event or situation, a reaction which taxes a person. But this phrase avoids speaking to the actual emotions being experienced.  Are they sadness, pain, anger, hurt, exhaustion, disappointment, disapproval, emptiness, resentment, loss, aloneness, frustration, irritation, etc.?  Are they reminiscent of an unresolved past experience?  Clinicians should ask what the client means when using this term.

Closure – Closure is used to mean a sense of being over an unpleasant experience in a way the person considers an acceptable way to complete or to ‘resolve’ that experience. But the word covers up the process and mental work needed to attain that emotional outcome, namely a reduction in emotional response and emotional conflict regarding an experience.  Seeking closure is actually a fantasy of how one hopes to feel given some psychological process by which the complex of thoughts and feelings attached to some event or person will be transformed.  Again, ask the client what is meant by it and how to know when it is achieved.

Closure is an end result. But what is the process? For therapy, the word ‘RESOLUTION’ is a better jargon term with the following referents.

  • Memories of the experience cause no significant distress or impairment.
  • The person is relatively comfortable talking about it.
  • The memories are experienced as part of history, as something from the past, rather than as something vividly and emotionally present.
  • The person conceptualizes the event narrative with language suggesting mastery, survival, forgiveness, successful coping, personal effectiveness, or pulling through.

So when the therapist refers to an experience as resolved or unresolved, he or she has in mind specific elements and, in the latter case, techniques to help move towards resolution.

Dealt with, deal with – This is used to mean coped, worked through, or processed. “I can deal with it” may be true, i.e., the person can think about it without impairment, or an untrue statement meant to discourage discussion of the event or memory or situation. “I can’t deal with” is ambiguous, suggesting feeling overwhelmed, easily upset, unable to accept. What does it mean to “deal with” something psychologically?  Talk about it?  Think about it?  Confront someone?  Come to a new understanding?   Stand up to the situation?  Cope effectively?  Assert feelings?  Feel at peace?  The therapist should be looking at the process and not accept vague language.  For example, if the therapist said, “You dealt with that effectively,” the therapist wasted an opportunity to reinforce a specific skill or coping strategy.  It would be better to highlight and reinforce the new skills, saying, “You showed restraint, tact, and thoughtfulness when you spoke with Johnny and tuned into his state of mind empathically.  Think how far you have come from when you used to scold him for this behavior and that didn’t work.  But now you suppressed that urge and really worked to understand his feelings and it helped tremendously.”  So “deal with it” is not an expression a therapist ought to use.

“Deal with” is also used in another way, saying “I can’t deal with that.” What does it mean?  Tolerate? Face the emotions?  Feel overwhelmed? I have heard therapists say something from a class of possible statements such as, “You didn’t deal with the feelings from your divorce.”  What does it mean?  Anything from “You have felt depressed over the sense of loss” on one side to “You have been resentful over how it ended and you’ve been acting hostile and obstructive as a result.”   The escape frombuzzwords6.jpg specificity in using a buzzword such as “deal with” is virtually anti-therapeutic.

Empower – The term is used loosely to mean to support client autonomy, assertiveness, and self-determination; but generally we see the usage narrowed to encouraging the client to make a decision or take an action. E.g., “I empowered her to stand up for herself.”  Now there is one vague and illogical, but all too common, statement.  Furthermore, by focusing on one action, the therapist has contradicted the very possibilities of the term itself – namely, the possibility of becoming empowered as a person, that is, autonomous and self-determining.   She is taking credit, which is anti-empowering.

The term derives from social, political, and economic processes which help groups of people gain control over their lives in the political arena by acting on the positions in which they believe, specifically, acting against a prevailing power structure. If the therapist means to engage the client to make decisions and follow through, such as to overcome dependency or to develop identity or to use assertiveness skills, then say just what the client does.  To use the word ‘empower’ is to use much more vague language which focuses on the therapist’s actions and not upon the client’s demonstration of competencies which can be reinforced.

In a sense, one can’t really empower someone! The client is demonstrating personal power.  If the power is only given or permitted (by the one empowering), then it’s not true personal power.  So when therapists say they empower the client, they would be advised to describe their intervention in more psychological terms, such as ‘used assertiveness training’ or ‘helped the client lay out pros and cons’ or ‘highlighted the expression of personal authority’ or ‘the client used assertiveness skills such as non-reactively stating her bottom line position.’

Feel – “Feel” is too often misused to mean opinion or attitude rather than emotion. One should be clear whether she is asking “What is your emotional reaction to that?” or “What thoughts or opinions do you have about that?”  When the client talks about a reaction, be clear whether the person has articulated an emotion or an opinion or a judgment.  Has the client given an affect or his/her theory of the situation?  If we accept the vague use of “feel,” we have not asked the client to probe the self first, to come up with an accurate ‘theory’ based upon exploration of the facts and details of his or her reactions and emotions.  When the client responds to a question of feeling by giving an opinion, the therapist might say, ‘Oh, that is your opinion about it, but what did you feel, your emotions?”  “You are giving your notion of why that happened, but first let’s get all the thoughts and emotions out and come to an understanding of what it means for you.”  “ You are coming up with your judgment of the situation before we have explored your emotions and the meaning of it.  Let’s hold off on that judgment and explore it first.” This is a message about the level of specificity required in effective therapy.  One of the most common statements in a therapy session is “What do you feel about that?”  Unless we have taught the client that we mean “What are the emotions you have in reaction to that?” then the answer is just as likely to be an opinion as an emotion.  If we are looking for an emotion or an opinion, we need to be clear which it is that we seek.

Fight – For therapy, fight is a word which could mean difference of opinion, disagreement, argument, quarrel, or some kind of violence. Its meaning must be exactly specified.  Using a word which better conveys the severity and intensity of the situation will help the client better differentiate amongst levels of conflict.  Many clients overstate a disagreement by calling it a fight.  Others understate violence by calling it a fight.  To me, a fight means an upsetting, vociferous, non-violent conflict in which hostile, critical words are expressed.  An argument is a step down.  Hitting or pushing is a step up in severity.  A therapist who finds out the details of the event and labels the event correctly is better positioning the participants to understand the dynamics and learn to change.

Handle it, can’t handle it – [Also look to the paragraph about “deal with” above.] There are used to mean a capacity or incapacity to face a difficult situation. By what means does or did the client work through feelings about a situation?  What coping or defense mechanisms are employed?  What cognitive beliefs?  “I handled it” does not tell us the strengths used.  “I can’t handle it” does not tell us the emotions experienced.  The command, “Handle it” and the similar phrase “Get over it” completely underestimate the psychological work which needs to be done and how it is done.  How can we help encourage successful coping if we do not specify the skills to use and put them into language?

Issue – When I hear the word, “Issue” used in a statement in therapy or in a case conference or even when a therapist is referring to her own internal challenges, I hear buzzwords7.jpgthe person intentionally softening the statement and presenting an intentionally vague picture. This word “issue” has multiple meanings, such as, an unsolved problem, a difference of opinion, neurotic thinking, etc. It is often used to mean a statement which disagrees with another person or confronts the other person, as in “I have an issue with what you said.”  “You have issues.”  Better would be to say “I disagree” or “I disagree with what you are thinking” or “I am concerned with your thinking on that subject.”  The word ‘issue’ ends up being critical and accusatory, while being meant purposely to be vague.  “I have an issue with that” merely means I disagree.  “You have an issue” means questioning the other’s position or thinking.  Itbuzzwords8.jpg is also meant to mean “You seem irrational or disturbed.”  If the word is meant to be critical, it leaves the recipient with no clarity about what to do, what the objection may be, or what changes may be desirable.  Like “Handle it,” “You have issues” is yet another term which glibly implies the person should repudiate some thoughts, behavior, or opinion. Clinicians know that changing is more complex a process than that!

Let go, letting go  – This is used to signify ending of responding to a loss or a painful experience or dashed hopes, disappointments, and expectations.  This is especially vague as it does not address how the person is to accomplish resolving the experience and what the outcome of that process may be.  Is it a process of mourning?  Adjusting expectations?  What are the emotions the person must work through?  What does it mean to say “I let go of that.”  It also violates normal processes of grief – it takes time and psychological work to recover; one cannot “let go.”  So as with some other buzzwords, it is dismissive.  Find out about the client’s emotional experiencing.

Listen – In today’s parenthood, “listen” is almost always used to mean comply or obey rather than to hear.  If compliance is intended, the therapist will be more effective if words such as comply or obey are used.  Furthermore, the word ‘hear’ might be meant when we communicate with someone with ADHD or a teen fiddling with a smart phone or hiding under a jacket.  Or perhaps both hear and obey are meant.  Get it straight.

Move on – Similar to “let go,” this term is used to mean leaving behind a conflictual or unpleasant situation or an injury. But the term obscures the underlying process, the emotions involved, the reasons the event was troubling.

buzzwords12.pngOverreacting – This is mainly a critical term meaning to respond with excessive drama, emotion, or display. Saying someone is overreacting dismisses what the person is trying to express.  Perhaps drama is the person’s way of showing the event had a major impact.  Perhaps the person doesn’t expect to be heard or understood otherwise.  Or perhaps the reaction is based upon catastrophic beliefs or the reawakened memory of an old hurt.  Clinicians should find out what is behind the reaction.

Process, Processed – “Process” has two meanings. 1) When used as a verb, it means discussed, reviewed, or talked about.  I think therapists use this to mean something much more, namely, coming to the point of understanding or insight, then working it through.  [See the discussion of “closure” above.] The psychological processes involved are much richer than the term “process” implies.  It would be more helpful to spell out the psychological work which has taken place.

2) ‘Process’ can also mean a sequence of interactions in a session, each one stimulating the next, displaying the client’s patterns. This is jargon which has a useful meaning in a case conference, but little meaning in therapy.  “Your interaction” or “The way each reaction followed from the one before” would have more meaning for the client.

Respect – Generally this is used to mean follow directives, complying, speaking courteously to another. But the meaning is idiosyncratic; each person using the term means something different.  One should always make sure to know what the client means by the term and the therapist should not use ‘respect,’ but should use that more specific meaning.  Asking a child to “respect” a parent would give the child no map as to the desired behaviors  — compliance, obedience, fear, mutuality, thoughtfulness, valuing, validating.  Furthermore, the range of behaviors could be so broad that the child would have difficulty approximating what is expected.  The same problem occurs quite frequently in couples counseling.  “You don’t respect me” is more a statement of feeling and judgment and not much of a guide to improvement.  The meaning could be an indictment of the partner as ego centric, a statement about feeling dismissed, a statement about feeling alone and not valued or not appreciated, or any number of others meanings.  Therapists should be getting a specific list of the meanings behind such a statement and of the desired behaviors.

Shut down – This term is used both to mean the client is not talking or the client is not sharing emotions. It could also mean having no feelings.  The term has absolutely no psychological meaning or utility.  Rather, the therapist should refer to the process buzzwords13behind the observation, namely, constriction, flattening of emotion, numbing, inhibition, resistance, suppression, blocking, anxiety, repression, etc.  ‘Shut down’ is a way of characterizing the behavior in vague terms which does not permit us to know the underlying process.  If a client is told he is shutting down, what is he supposed to do with that?

Space, as in “I need more space.” – Also, “I feel smothered [engulfed].” This is not a term therapists are likely to use, but it is one they will hear.  What could this mean?  I want to break up?  I am not comfortable with you?  We are becoming close more quickly than I can trust? I have avoidant attachment style, so increasing closeness makes me anxious?  I feel my independence is compromised?  I have made plans to separate?  I don’t want an exclusive relationship?  You are too demanding?  When this phrase comes up, it is important to clarify the meaning.

Stress, stressed out – This term has an indeterminate meaning, but could refer to one’s reaction to a change or a group of events. It could just be used to mean a pile up of challenges and difficult things to do.  Does it mean pressure, press of events, having too much to do, or deadlines?buzzwords14.jpg  The term “stress” as defined by Hans Selye, who introduced it to medicine, has a scientific meaning in psychology of demand for adaptation which elicits adrenal hormones and causes wear and tear on the body.  “Stressor” is the proper term for external events.  Stress is about the body; stressor is about the environment.  Any other use makes the terminology vague and unclear.   Rather than use “stressed,” it is more helpful to refer to the underlying events and to explore the client’s reactions.  “When you say you are stressed, let’s look at what events make you feel that way and just thoughts and feelings they stir up.”  Rather than reflect “You are so stressed,” better would be “Having to react to a loss and then to financial troubles leaves you scared and interrupts your sleep.  You seem to be blaming yourself, and those thoughts make you depressed.”  You can see that getting away from the buzzword leads to more possibilities, such as exploring automatic thoughts, interpreting the defense of turning against self, or reviewing the entire process around the client’s reaction to the loss.

Support – This term is so broadly used that I’m not sure of the meaning of the usage! Some people use it to mean agreement or backing the person up on what they believe and do.  The broadest meaning is encouragement.  Most often it is used to criticize what someone else is or is not doing to agree with, accept, or encourage one.  Again, it is important to ask what the user of this term means by it and then not to use it in therapy.  The therapist uses terms which get at the specifics, such as, “So you think you are being criticized and you feel disappointed.   You were hoping to have your idea encouraged rather than critiqued.”

CONCLUSION

In conclusion, “Never ASSUME you know what the client means. Ask and analyze.”

We can add that when a client uses a buzzword, never assume you understand what the client means. It could be an unconscious attempt to be vague or is overtly dismissive.  It could have a referent for the client which is not shared in the therapist’s mind.

Probe for the meaning. Don’t let it go by.

Furthermore, never use a buzzword with a client or about a client. It shows a lack of incisive professional thinking.  That is counter-productive because it condones the client being imprecise as well and it supports avoidance, which then supports the client’s problems.

Lastly, besides the disservice done to the therapy and the client by using buzzwords and not asking for elaboration, the use of buzzwords does a significant disservice to the therapist as well. It prevents the therapist from developing, that is, from learning some of the hallmarks of good clinical work, such as

  1. how to describe the dynamics of the client’s behavior
  2. how to delve more deeply into a client’s emotions, cognitions, and memories (clarification)
  3. how to perceive and describe deeper patterns (insight)
  4. how to explain the thinking behind our choice of interventions
  5. how to think incisively and with due complexity about therapy.

If you find a buzzword escaping your tongue before you can catch it, correct it. For example, “How did you handle that?” [Oops] “What was your thinking and feeling then?”  Or “What did you do then? “ Or “What were your responses to that?”

For another example, “You say you are stressed out. That means different things to different people.  So let’s make sure we fully understand how it is for you.  What is it like for you?” Or, “What feelings make you say that?”

For another example, “So you say you want him to show respect. Let’s make it crystal clear what that means to you, what he will be doing that you are looking for and can appreciate.”  Follow up with, “What are the ways you will know it?” and then also “Ok, then also what behavior would you like to see less of?

We guide people to understanding how the assumptions behind their thinking can be examined, challenged, and changed. We guide people to understanding how past experiences shape their reactions so they can change.  All this requires specificity and a detailed understanding of the individual.  Our tool is language and we use it to communicate.  So let’s not obfuscate the meaning; rather, let’s be clear, incisive, thorough, and detailed in our understanding.  Never assume you know what the client means; ask, ask, ask.  Never assume the client knows what you mean; explain, explain, explain in clear language.

buzzwords15.jpg

************************

© Don D Rosenberg, Version 1.0 2012, Version 1.1 2017